Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize