I CAN MOONWALK!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
