I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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