Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
