What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize