Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
