the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
