And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
