no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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