He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
