There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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