drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
