For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
