you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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