The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
