if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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