I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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