Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
