I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
