Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
