My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
