It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
