don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
