After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
