she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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