just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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