Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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