a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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