Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Congratulations! We have a period
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