When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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