I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
