The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize