You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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