and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
