Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
bring money and cleavage
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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