The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i will never coherently bang her
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
