Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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