Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
