I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We need a shit load of segways right now
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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