He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
