I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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