I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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