no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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