he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
