does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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