My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize