I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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