And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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