the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
