you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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