You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
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if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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