At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
operation have a gay friend backfired
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
