I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
