Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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