That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
