They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
