haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
