Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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