I think my vagina is haunted
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
