do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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