omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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